Answered Prayers

I have struggled with Caroline's health issues since the day she was born. Not just struggling in trying to manage them and make her feel better, but also struggling with self-doubt and uncertainty. So many many times I wondered, am I doing the right thing by dragging her to doctor after doctor after doctor? Am I searching for a problem that just isn't there? Am I really just a neurotic first-time mom who freaks out over nothing? The doctors certainly made me feel that way. Now we know..... I was right all along. I never gave up on my mother's intuition (with encouragement from my mom and others) and thanks to that persistence, we are FINALLY starting to get some answers.

Last Sunday morning I was making a desperate prayer seeking answers. I asked God for a sign- something, anything- to let me know I was doing the right thing and I should persevere in my efforts. To let me know that there was an answer to all our questions and that we just needed to keep searching. After 10 months of doctor visits (including 2 pediatricians, 4 gastroentologists, an allergist, and a dietician) with no definitive answers, I was definitely losing hope that we would ever find out what was going on inside Caroline. And sure enough, Sunday afternoon she took another turn downhill and started vomiting again. Sign duly noted.

patiently waiting with Nana and Aunty Em for the procedure to begin

We had seen her GI last Tuesday, who was absolutely NO help whatsoever. She basically said Caroline's bloodwork was fine, the stool test was fine, and she really thought Caroline needed to be eating solid foods so I should just give her miralax every day to mitigate the constipation. That's it. She didn't suggest any further testing or exploring other options, other than visiting with another GI within her department who specializes in motility. Once Caroline started vomiting I promptly demanded an urgent appointment with the other doctor. We saw him on Tuesday and he was absolutely no help whatsoever either. He pretty much said that he thought Caroline's issues with solid foods were 'within the range of normal development'. He too tried to blame all the antibiotics for the ear infection, and the recurring cold she's had, and the old favorite- a stomach bug- as the source of all her GI issues. I told him flat-out that this theory did not hold up, because she had the BEST WEEK OF HER LIFE in november while she was still dealing with the antibiotics and the ear infection and a cold. Those things were all present during the week of Thanksgiving, and yet she still showed improvement. Furthermore, those items were not present in August when all these problems started. He didn't really seem concerned and said if she was still vomiting after 7 days time, he would possibly consider investigating further. All in all, he was not very concerned, didn't offer any concrete advice or testing or theories about what was going on. Just like every.single.doctor we have seen thus far in Houston. 

Enter God's handiwork. After that all the pieces started to fall into place with amazing truly miraculous ease. After Tuesday's disappointing doctor visit my mom and I said to hell with the Houston doctors, we need to find a doctor in Baton Rouge that we KNOW and TRUST. My mom asked several doctor friends who they recommended and all of them recommended the same guy- a good sign. The same doctor friends then made phone calls urgently insisting that this GI make room for us in his schedule, which he graciously did. Caroline and I flew into BR Wednesday morning and saw the doctor Wednesday afternoon. He went through her entire case history, asked a ton of questions, and then offered a suggestion NO ONE had ever offered before. He felt it would be beneficial to put her under general anesthesia and perform an upper endoscopy to look around inside her. Specifically, he was looking for possible evidence of Eosophillic Esophigitis, which would have to be confirmed with a biopsy. I was terrified and relieved all at once. Terrified, because no one wants to put their kid under anesthesia...there's always that possible risk of complications. Stuff of every parent's worst nightmare. Relieved, because at long last someone was taking this seriously and seeking answers instead of just dismissing me, ignoring me, or otherwise failing to take action. And as luck would have it, scopes are only performed on Thursdays, and the doctor just happened to have a cancellation for the next day so he could take her at 6 am. Thank you God.

waking up from anesthesia was not so fun...who wouldn't be
crabby and irritable?

We checked in to the hospital at 6 am and her procedure was scheduled for 8:00. Even though she hadn't eaten a thing in over 12 hours, she was incredibly tolerant of the situation and didn't fuss too much. We had to entertain her for 2 hours in the pre-op hospital room with books, singing, taking walks, and a bit of TV. She was such a trooper. I thought for sure she would cry when they wheeled her away from me (talk about knife to a mother's heart) but she did fine. 

We waited in the big waiting room for about 30 minutes and then were called back to meet with the doctor and discuss his findings. After all the times I've had my hopes dashed, I fully expected this time to be no different and I expected he'd say he didn't see anything. But he did. First thing he told us was that he saw she has a substantial-size hiatial hernia. There's no way to tell if she's had it since birth or it developed sometime afterwards, but given all her issues I would be my life she's had it since birth. He said the hernia could possibly be the source of all her problems, or it could just be one of several contributing factors. He got a few tissue samples for the biopsy and is checking for other possible culprits. He said he is not super eager to jump into surgery for the hernia because she is so young. There's hope that she could 'outgrow' it, so to speak, in a few years. If there are other issues going on, he hopes to address those issues first to make her more comfortable, and hopefully leave the hernia alone. We will get the biopsy results tomorrow and decide what the treatment plan will be.    

after a bottle and removal of the IV she felt much better

I feel an enormous sense of relief knowing that my unwavering instincts were correct and that we did the right thing by persisting even when all the doctors basically kept saying 'eh, she's fine, it's no big deal, she'll outgrow it,' etc. I am very hopeful now that we've found a good doctor, we will finally be able to get to the root of problems and help her feel better soon. What a Christmas miracle for our family. But I am also LIVID that every single other doctor we've seen did not listen to me and take her problems seriously and try to figure out what was going on sooner. It's one thing for me to go to the doctor and say 'help! something's wrong!' and for them to attempt to figure it out and keep searching for answers and come up empty-handed. I can live with the fact that at least they were trying. But it's entirely unforgivable that she's probably had this condition since birth, with pain and suffering and discomfort almost every single day of the 10 months of her life, and NONE of them ever even suggested that perhaps she might have a hernia, let's take a look and see if we should rule that out as a possibility. Apparently hernias in babies are somewhat common....if that's true, why wasn't this addressed as a possible culprit early on? 

In the spirit of Christmas I am trying to let go of the anger and focus on the joy of answered prayers. Thank you Jesus for giving me the strength to help my daughter. Thank you for helping us find a good doctor who was willing and able to aggressively seek answers. Thank you for allowing all this to happen in my hometown where I've had the support of friends and family. Thank you for giving me hope that we will finally be able to make her feel better. Thank you for my sweet precious Christmas angel.

sweet baby