the sleep chronicles, part 2: meet the nap nazi

My friend Meryl sent me this charming piece of graphic goodness when we were discussing the trials and tribulations of naptime. We have no clue what the words say, or where this illustration originated from (possibly the KGB museum somewhere in Europe?), but I think the scowling matriarch is a pretty accurate depiction of most moms of small children. SILENCE! SLEEP NOW OR RISK THE WRATH OF THE NAP NAZI! I need to wallpaper my front door in this handy little message, to prevent the UPS and FedEx men from ringing the dreaded doorbell every time they leave a package. And while I'm at it, I'll go ahead and deposit this friendly little reminder on all my neighbor's doors too, because EVERY TIME one of my neighbors has friends over/pulls up in the driveway/talks outside on the cell phone, my fierce guard-dog feels the need to bark his head off and let me know there is someone, somewhere in the immediate vicinity. And this usually occurs riiiiiight after I've finally gotten sweet little Petunia to go to sleep. (Where's that shock collar when you need it?....) I'm thinking the nap nazi will become a permanent fixture in our household. Much the same way talks of Santa are used to bribe inspire children to behave around Christmas time, I think threats of a visit from the nap nazi might be quite useful in persuading obstinate children to hit the sack at naptime. I've seen firsthand what happens when little darling doesn't get a good nap, and it ain't pretty. I learned my lesson the hard way last Friday, when we had guests over for dinner and she was in all her fussing glory because she didn't take a good nap that afternoon. Point well taken. We will now adhere to the nap schedule with militarian diligence.


The de-swaddling has indeed been a painstakingly slow process, fraught with flailing limbs and scratched-up noses and middle-of-the-night wakings. We quit using the miracle blanket and switched to a zippered sleep sack so we could wean her one arm at a time. Last week there were a few rough nights, but by the end of the week she was somewhat accustomed to having one arm free. So then we attempted to free the other arm. Double the flailing. Double the sharp little baby nails scratching her face (despite my attempt to prevent this with the aid of mittens.) Double the amount of mid-sleep wakings that require her to put herself back to sleep. It is SOOOO tempting to just put her back in the old miracle blanket swaddle in the hopes of getting a really good night's sleep, or a really good 3 hour mid-day nap, but I guess this is our first tough love parenting trial. We must stay strong. We must resist temptation and stay the course and free all her limbs!

No matter what happens at night, she's still a happy girl in the morning!

And in other news, I think she's starting to resemble me a bit more now. Ever since she was born, people have always taken one look at her and exclaimed 'she's the spitting image of her daddy!' And I agreed. But her appearance is changing every day and now I'm starting to see a bit more of me in her. Then when I compared her to pictures of Bill and I at the same age, I can definitely see that she has some of me in her! I've decided she has my hair and mouth for sure. She has Bill's eye shape, but my eyelashes, and both of our hazel eyes. The chunky cheeks (which are getting chunkier every day!) came from me. Her nose is a nice combination of both of us...not quite my nose, but not quite the distinctive Renton nose either. I can't wait to see what she looks like at one year of age! 

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state of motion

Never more have I understood the genius behind Target's marketing campaign. "Life is a moving target." Amen!! Juuuust when we think we have things figured out and somewhat under control, it all changes. For the past 3 months Caroline has been a champion sleeper, aided by her Miracle Blanket swaddle. She would sleep 10-12 hours every night without a peep. Here lately though, she's gotten stronger and is starting to bust out of her swaddle. I had to get up several times last week around 1:30 to re-swaddle her, after she busted out of the swaddle and her flailing limbs woke her up. Thursday night I came home after dinner out with the girls in supper club, and Bill commented that he had to 'double bag her.' When you start tending to your child in the same manner you would tend to your groceries, you might have a problem. I went to check on her and the poor child was absolutely mummified in two swaddle blankets...I doubt she had any circulation to her toes. Daddy was all proud of his ingenuity, but I was a bit worried. I knew our swaddle days were nearing the end.


So we attempted to do without the swaddle blanket last night. I knew it was probably not a wise idea to make the switch cold turkey, but I was just hoping maybe she would do ok. BIG MISTAKE. I was awoken at 11:30, 1:30, 2:30, 3:30 and 4:30 by her fussing and flailing. Finally I caved and did a half-swaddle and got her to sleep till about 9 this morning. This is going to be a long sleep-deprived process...


But on the upside, at least her strength and coordination is improving! She's getting stronger and stronger each day, which I know is a good thing. She has transitioned from Butterbean to Jumping Bean to Wiggleworm. And she started rolling over! The first time was last Wednesday, and she's done it every day since then! 

I managed to capture the big event on film. As you can see, it's more of a prop-myself-up-by-one-arm and gravity takes over from there. But exciting nonetheless!

And as if that weren't enough to contend with, we're also making formula changes...again. Lately we've noticed several episodes of pink spit up, which worried me that she might be spitting up blood. Specifically a few days ago, I noted that the pink spit up occurred 3 hours after she ate, and 1 hour after she took her medicine. So presumably there should have been  NOTHING in her stomach for her to spit up. The GI doctor has finally started doing some tests, which is a good thing I guess. She had an upper GI series done on Thursday....not fun at all. Even though it was a painless test (drink some barium and take a bunch of x-rays), she screamed throughout the entire procedure and was very unhappy. The attending physician said she could see the reflux occuring, but otherwise her anatomy looked normal. I called the GI doctor twice to try to talk to him about the results of the test, and discuss what tests he wants to do next, but he never returned my phone calls. So much for our miracle doctor.  After her pink spit up episode, and after the doctor failed to return my phone calls, I made an executive decision to switch to the hospital-grade formula. SUPER expensive, and probably not covered by insurance, but it's the last resort in terms of formula. I am hoping and praying this helps her. One of the other moms on the 'babies with reflux' group on Babycenter told me her story, which sounded entirely too familiar: 


"Our pediatric GI didn't think our daughter had MSPI,  but she gave us a can of Elecare [hospital-grade formula] just to get us off her back.  On Elecare my daughter went from spitting up 24 times a day to 3-4 times a day.  She stopped screaming and arching her back entirely."


Could have been written by me. On an average day, Caroline spits up 25-30 times. On a bad day, probably 40-50 times. So with that in mind, yesterday I went ahead and started transitioning her to the Elecare formula. Switching formulas is always a nightmare...things usually get worse before they get better...so I'm going to give it a good 4 weeks to see if she improves. And if she does, I'm writing a big fate hate letter to all the doctors who have ignored me for the last 3 months. 


So between the formula switch and the de-swaddling, baby girl is probably going to be a nutcase for the next few weeks. But hopefully with all these changes we'll hit the bullseye and say goodbye to fussy baby and hello to perpetually-happy baby. Until she starts teething anyway...  :)

Oh, and Happy Mother's Day!

I had a lovely first mother's day, which included church, a picnic in the park, a trip to the zoo, and a manicure. Lots of quality time with my little family and a little indulgence to boot! What more could I ask for? Enjoy a few pics from our outings today!

picnic in Herman Park

We bravely (stupidly?) decided to attempt the zoo on Mother's Day. Apparently
half of Houston had the same idea.

Baby girl managed to stay awake for about half of the exhibits. She was
quite enthralled with the fish.

Losing interest in the tortoise. He was slow.

10 points if you can name this animal. I couldn't.

Who cares what it is? It's big! It moves!

Daddy explaining the intricate details of evolution, and how this
chimp may be her long-lost cousin.

Who cares? It's big! It moves!

Goats. Meh.

These have to be the most tame goats in the history of the world,
to put up with approximately 87234 kids brutally 'petting' them each day.

The goose kept trying to peck through the fence. I suspect he
wanted to eat her toes. Snack time!

For my mom. This little bunny was not part of an exhibit. Just a happy
little intruder in the butterfly garden!

Big Shoes to Fill

me, mom, mama and mamoo- 4 generations!

I come from a long line of feisty spirited women. Bucking the norm has been handed down from one generation to the next. (Would you expect anything less from the descendants of a woman named Henri?) 

MaMa, mom, Caroline and me- 4 generations again!

The typical womanly characteristics you would expect from the matriarch of the family-cleaning, cooking, alphabetized chronologically-ordered photo albums of each family member- somehow have eluded the Gladden/Herrod genes that were handed down to me. But in their place I inherited a repertoire of skills and traits that I find far more endearing. Creativity, from my paternal grandmother Nell Douglas who unfortunately I never had the chance to know.  I've heard stories about her handy ways around a workshop, how she could fix/fabricate/create anything she dreamed up. My dad always claimed she was the original inventor of the skateboard....she built one for him when he was a kid long before they were mainstream. 


From my maternal grandmother, MaMa (that's may-may in case you were wondering) I inherited a definite disgust of all things kitchen-related and and an insatiable appetite for the great outdoors! Who has time to waste on pots and pans when there's a great big beautiful world out there?? Mama was never one to win anyone over with her cooking (just ask about the fabled 'goo dish' my grandfather complained of, or the ketchup growing fur in her fridge, or the quail from 1985 still frozen in her freezer threatening to make an appearance on the dinner table...) but her zest for travel and experiencing all the world has to offer makes her one of the most fun people I know. How many 80-something-year-old grandmothers do you know who would climb 300+ steps just for the pleasure of viewing a spectacular waterfall, or strap on a harness and helmet and go flying on a zipline? Only my MaMa! Just two weeks ago she returned from an expedition across the Atlantic to view the world-famous tulip gardens in Amsterdam. I owe my wanderlust and love of the natural world to MaMa.

Emily, me and MaMa in Costa Rica

MaMa looooves her great-grandaughter!

From my mom, I inherited ALL of my physical characteristics (from brown hair to tans-easily  to petite stature) and a can-do, why-not,  aptitude. She has never followed closely to what was 'typical' or 'expected'. She was famous for breaking the rules and challenging the norms.  (To this day, her favorite Christmas tradition is running all the red lights on the early Christmas morning drive to MaMa's house. Dangerous? Perhaps. Super fun? Definitely!!) At several points during my life I felt out of kilter, off the beaten path, not sure where I was headed. But my Mom always encouraged me in whatever direction I was headed, whether that was frolicking in Hawaii for the summer or changing my major in college or eloping with my husband on a private ceremony on the beach. Her attitude always was, and always will be, follow your heart. Don't worry about others' expectations. Without those words to live by my life would not be the same.

Mom and me circa 1979

Who goes hunting in every garden store in town to find
the perfect big metal chicken? My mom!

So I've got a lot to live up to in choosing what to pass down to my girl. Will she get my and MaMa's apalling lack of sense of direction? Will she get my and my mom's love for trashy made-for-tv movies and all things crafty? I only hope that when she's 30-something she'll be laughing and telling stories about all the crazy anti-mom things I did when she was growing up. And if she's burning the mystery meatloaf because she's too busy gabbing on the phone, telling me all about her latest hairbrained adventure, then I know I'll have been successful as a mother. 

Goodbye fourth trimester!

We made it! We survived the dreaded first 3 months, or 'fourth trimester' as it's sometimes called. It was a bumpy road but things are definitely improving. Her eating issues still haven't been solved, but otherwise she's a happy healthy girl. When she's not projectile vomiting or fussing in pain she is smiley smiley smiley! She will charm every stranger she comes across. Her vocalizations are a hoot...she's really getting serious about letting us know what she thinks! We practice having conversations and she is always a willing participant. It's so fun to watch her little personality unfold. I suspect once she learns how to talk she will never stop! 

I wish we had a house with a yard and a porch because she is loving being outside right now! Sitting on the porch swing, listening to birds, watching the trees, and strolling are all enjoyable activities. She even inherited my love of thunderstorms!! One day last week while we were at my grandmother's house she was being fussy, so we took her outside on the porch to watch the thunderstorm. She stopped crying immediately! Watch out Jim Cantore...there's another budding storm chaser in our household.

As my mom says, if we could just get her eating/pain issues solved she would be the world's best baby! We saw a new doctor (the 5th one thus far) a few weeks ago and he was incredibly helpful. He spent an entire hour with Bill and I talking about different tests, medicines, formulas, etc. It was so much good information that no one had ever bothered to sit down and tell us....it was always a 15 minute in-and-out-here's-some-new-medicine-come-back-in-3-weeks routine. This doctor was the first one that actually left us feeling informed and hopeful. I'm confident he will help us make her feel better. In the meantime though it's still a game of trial and error to pinpoint what's going on, and we can only change one variable at a time. At the last appointment he upped her Prevacid dosage (2 mLs, twice a day) but I can't see any improvement in her at all. I counted six separate screaming episodes while we were in Baton Rouge last week....one minute she's perfectly fine and content, and a split second later she is SCREAMING in pain and will continue to scream for 30-60 minutes. And of course the general fussy routine is still in full swing as well...eat,spit up, fuss and cry. Rinse and repeat alllll daaaaay looong. I just keep thinking this is a milk protein allergy, and until the doctor proves to me that it's NOT, I will keep bringing it up. Every time we changed her formula, she would do great and seem so much better for a few days. And then after a few days she would be back to her old fussy self. Acid reflux (which is what they say she has) doesn't act that way with formula changes. A milk protein allergy does. If it were 'just' reflux, she would spit up all day every day no matter what formula we tried. The fact that she would do better for a few days, and then go downhill again, has me convinced it's a milk allergy. (This would also explain her similar behavior when we switched from breastmilk to formula.)

The formula Wall O Shame.
You probably thought I was joking when I said we've tried every formula under the sun.

Notice the wet/dry line. Half her outfit is soaked from spit up! And this was
after only one feeding!! I do laundry in my sleep now.

Our next doctor appointment is Monday. We'll see what he wants to do next. Poor sweet baby girl. Happy 3 month birthday cutie patootie! 

Oh, and a little Winnie lagniappe too. He was scared to death we were going to drive off and leave him in Louisiana. He thought this would be an appropriate measure to make sure he didn't get left behind.

Noises, Music, and Melodies

We've discovered that noises can be friend or foe in our household. She's a pretty hearty sleeper and noises don't usually bother her. When she wants to sleep, she sleeps pretty hard. But occasionally something will startle her awake, and the saddest thing you've ever seen is a baby whose eyes pop wide open, and then the lip turns down and starts to quiver, and then the sad wailing begins. Exhibit A: when Bill comes home from work in the afternoon, Winnie always barks when he hears the garage door open. Sudden barking noises + sleeping baby = pug that is in danger of getting beaten. Exhibit B: while staying at my grandmother's house, after 30 minutes of swaddling/bouncing/rocking I finally finally got her to go down for her nap at 2:00. At 2:05, the yardman showed up. Not at 10:00 am or 3:34 pm or 6:42 pm or any other time of day when the baby WASN'T sleeping. Precisely at 2:05, a mere 5 minutes after she'd finally fallen asleep. And of course it was the day to break out the chainsaw to trim the azalea bushes, and blast away on the leaf blower to rid every square inch of the porch of any wayward leaves. Meanwhile the dogs inside the house were going beserk because they've spotted a black man wielding a chainsaw lurking in the bushes outside the house, and they felt the need to adequately warn us of the imminent danger of the situation. Complete barking chaos + sleeping baby = 2 dogs about to make a trip to the pound.


But some noises are absolutely mesmerizing to Caroline...windchimes, the sound of running water. Last night in the bathtub I turned the water on a slow flow which produced a nice splashy noise, and she shrieked in utter delight. She was clearly impressed with the water works and spent a good bit of time just staring at the falling water.


She also looooves music, specifically any music from the 60's or 70's , and anything we sing to her. During bathtime we listen to the Portuguese jazz singer Eliane Elias, and she loves it when I sing the songs to her. She tries to sing along with her little shrills and shrieks...too cute. I sing to her at naptime too, an impromptu little diddy I call 'The Anti-Nap Song.'


I don't want to nap today
I want to stay awake and play


I'm not going to sleep at all
let's go shopping and hit the mall


I'm not closing my eyes, no, no
I'd rather get in the car and go


I don't need to rest, I'm wide awake
you may think I am tired but I'm a good fake


I'm staying alert with all my might
but my eyes are heavy and I'm losing the fight



Maybe I'll doze for a moment or two
but wait, haha, I was fooling you


No sleep for me, too good to be true
no nap for me, and no rest for you!




Every morning we listen to some golden oldies as we get dressed, and she has the best time dancing along to the Temptations and Three Dog Night, etc. My girl has distinct musical tastes.

All these noises and music and singing are definitely helping her to become more vocal. She has been practicing talking and loves hearing the sound of her own voice. She gets a big kick out of 'talking' to Daddy...they did this for about 10 minutes the other night!